Personality Disorder

INFJ, ENFP, 
ISTP,
ADHD, MDMA, 
MIA, ASAP

Eventually I blend in
With whatever you need me to be
Seamlessly, revealing characters
I'm yet to actually meet

My demeanor, shows up believable
While completely leaving myself
Of everything, authenticity
Briggs & Meyers can't pin me down

Crossing wires, twisting, tossing seeds
Scattered lost and knotted weeds
Helplessly harvesting
Parts of me not for the reap

Taking shots in the dark
Throwing darts, tossing paint on the wall
Nothing has stuck yet
Ends up chipping and warped

So I'm starting the restoration
The process of cleaning my closet
Yet it's so deep with hallways
And dead ends and cobwebs

And I'm starting to perspire a bit
Because half this shit is on fire
I require retardants
That cause their own problems mesotheliomas

Can't see, can't focus
I can barely breath, I'm choking
Holding my breath 
Through the smoldering wreckage I have set

On myself to suffer through
An utter cluttered chaos
Not knowing if I'm suffering
A thousand deaths or just one

Death of ego or something
I've never fully understood the subtleties
But underneath this rubble
May be a young seed

One I will nourish and cultivate
With understanding and loving through and through
Colorfully
I can show up to this world fully bloomed.