Self sabotage, self-deception
Self-destruction
Strung together like chords
That are over and over strummed
In dissonance
Miffed, muffled and buzzing
Chugging a rhythm of abundance
It isn't quite enough
A mistrust of ones progression
The process comes with problems
Constant disharmony
Off and on discordant
Keep trying to string it together
Like a ball of yarn from lint
Work of art is hard work
With the critics omnipresent
No-one can judge the worth
Of ones work
If you're trying to change the world
Well that's a lot of pressure unearthed
You can't concern it's value
It's not even up to you
Whatever you produce
Is for the universe to consume
It's a useless illusion
To assume worth in expression
We need to call out the critics
The inner critics especially.
We're all blazing around
Blazing a trail, chasing our tails
Away into rabbitholes
Where hare mazes curtail
Partaking in made up events
With unstable clientele
Creating some continuous fable
To let our own charade prevail
Where telltale tall tales
Regaling celebrations
Over some made up events
Celebrating every day since
Well since the day we can remember
Yet we don't remember
When we accepted the invitation
In the first place to attend here
Now each days celebration
Has rendered itself irrelevant
When everyday means the same
As the one before it did
Madness and incivility
To such a severity
That madness and incivility
Has become our only stability
We went in willingly didn't we
How do we get free?
When our conditioning heeds
Further habitual needs
Certainly theres a way out
Of this dream we made up
And how do we make our way out
Simply by waking up.
Learn to fail or fail to learn
Like a brail surface
Fail to see
The details discerning
Your predeterminations
Your conditions, nurtured ways
I may observe failure
With different considerations
How do we learn from mistakes
When we're making their terms
For ourselves
How to tell what hurts or helps
We curtail reason
With frequent leaps
Into the deep end
Derailed careening
With make believe realities
Idealities
Running around chasing
Your own tail locality
With morality of never being enough
Because you never measure up with
Someone else's
Custom judgments
In actuality no one can
Cut apart
Subparts of right and wrong
Just live with love and heart.
All or nothing perfection
In an attempt to snuff the competition
Consistently projected on us
Repetitive and persistent
Media, politics, and religion
Superstitions and distortion
By insecurities
That persist from metamorphosis
When all the mis and disinformation
Delve and dwell
Turns into helplessness
Fearfulness, and jealousy spells
No-one admits incoherence
Exists within themselves
The inability to distinguish
A reality realm
Anything and everything
That's peddled from all directions
Becomes heavy with distress
Constant distraction oppression
Adolescence is radically obsessed
Elders no better
Whenever theres magic advert
To avert our attention
Left with emptiness and bitterness
Anxiety jitters mixed
With sprinkling of despair
Lingering like stale air
Energy weary from strain
Our made ball and chain
When life doesn't reflect
Fairy tale balls and parades
And that's ok
Because honestly who wants disney plots
If we stopped constant consumption
We might be offered some calm.
We all know close-minded folks
With blinds pulled over their eyes
Disguised, sheeps clothes
Lion with no pride
So prideful nonetheless
Spiteful, deceitful
Regrettably, it just might be
Present climate season
We imply perceived niceties
To keep our needs within reach
Means to an end
To pretend and receive ends
Get ahead, who can condemn
In a culture of bad news
Catch-22's
Relaxed and cool is a fools attribute
Rather act like brutes
Talking trash
In fastfood drive-throughs
To every last bastard that moves
Attitudes are flat opposed
To the status quo
Even though that unique view
Is matched by most
Wearing these castes of alloy
To mask and cope as outcasts
Coat of arms attached
To defend against attacks
Though offense is relative
Insults theoretical
Reactions from backtalk
Adjunct for each individual
Ambiguous
Fighting against what doesn't exist
And when it does exist, we miss it
Because we're too busy in conflict.
We chase certainty
Perceive the unknown as alien
Instead of handing over control
We proceed to mail it in
Leave it in the junk bin
To prevent latent grief
And other brief tensions
Encumbrances we meet
Should puncture some vents
In our bubble, let the air in it
Better yet
Venturing outside our airless aquarium
Our built nest, platos cave
Once we're unchained
Our behavior then becomes strange
To the layman that remain
So instead we don't escape
And don't let anyone else enter in
To shelter our sheltered view
True maldevelopment
Collective madness
Attributes of absolutes
Prevent contamination
With a polluted vacuum
Which is counterintuitive
Counteractive to congruity
We all pursue to be set free
With ambiguity
Thinking we can control
All variables is hysterical
We may not know whats good for us
Go with the breeze as it blows.
I'm sick of advice
Especially when the giver is mine own
Like I have the right
Self righteously blindfold
Myself with selfish pride
Against what I find identifies
As a minor slight
An offense exemplified
Misanalysed regrettably
I recognize, apologize
Try to resolve my hollow spite
An amoral bind
I'm misunderstood
Or maybe I misunderstand
When I put my foot in my mouth
Instead of lend one a hand
Decide others woulds and shoulds
Without being put
Afoot in their reality
All my putdowns are true fallacies
The nerve or grounds, to serve around
My personal concerns
Is so impersonal
Shows no backbone or vertebra
That happens when this cloud
Of outcast self-doubt
Powerlessness
Is the foundation throughout
Structure becomes a house of cards
Shaking, swaying just waiting
That it is in fact safe
With shameless validating
My unstable ways
I didn't build them solitarily
But socially, culturally
Environmentally ill-conceived
But mindfully through readjustment
With beams and sheetrock
Maybe I'll remain upright
With others to lean on.
Living frantically
Trying to manage my manic need
To keep up fantasies
American dream vanity
I keep what can't be seen
My damaged seams
If I don't show that skin
It may vanish like tannery
But blending in instead leads
To panicking
To every candid happenstance
Against my planned conceit
In reality
Living concealed is insanity
Being human comes with wounds
Accrued from the usual calamity
No ones immune don't refute it
It's mutually earned
Yourself and others
Hard truths are duly discovered
Bruised and battered
You move forward
To get through the dust storm to cover
Until other tribulations emerge
Learn to fail or fail to learn
Wear scars like brail to interpret
Your hurts
Each one reads that courage occurred.
To Be Frank: 